How Can You Deal With Continuing Family Problems During The Holidays?

Being realistic is the first step.  If you have bad feelings about someone, try and avoid him or her and not make an issue of it but don't pretend that all is well.  This will enable you to feel true to yourself and less stressed out.

Do Financial Pressures Stress People Out to the Point of Ruining the Holiday Spirit?

Knowing your spending limit is also a way to relieve holiday stress.  People believe that they have to go out and buy all these gifts because it's the holidays regardless of their real financial ability to do this. Not only is it stressful to feel that you have to buy everyone an expensive gift, but you'll be stressed for the rest of the year trying to pay off your bills!

Don't have an idealized version of what one should be doing and should be spending.  Don't listen to the hype of " . . . if you really love your wife, your going to give her that diamond necklace", when you can barely cover your mortgage or car payment. Recognize it as hype and necessary advertising that stores have to do to stay in business, and that it is not necessarily about the holiday.  You can show love and caring by getting something that you know is meaningful and personal for that person which doesn't have to cost a lot.

How Do Time Pressures Affect People Around the Holidays?

People shouldn't have to put their lives on pause or totally rearrange their schedules either because of the holidays.  We have to remember that we are all individuals and have our own way of doing things. You've got to tune out all the hype, all the idealized images of what home should be like, and stay tuned to who you are.

How Does a Person Deal With the Holidays When He or She Is Chronically Sick?

Christmas isn't any different than any other day for someone who is chronically ill.  You still feel lousy.  It is harder if the family is putting pressure on that person to be jovial or is in denial about the person's illness.  It is helpful if the ill person can let family members know that Christmas doesn't cure the illness and that he or she is not a Scrooge for not feeling well.

How Does a Person Deal With the Holidays When He or She Has Just Experienced A Recent Tragedy, Death or Romantic Break-Up?

If someone is feeling really out of sorts because of any chronic or current stressors, like a death or recent romantic break-up, he or she may want to avoid some of the festivities because they are so out of sync with how that person is feeling.  If you are in this situation, try and articulate what you need from those around you -- since they may not know how to help you -- and ask for their understanding if you decline to engage in an activity.

Is It Harder Or Easier Over the Holidays When Your Family Is Local or Lives in Another Area?

Living in the same city with your family can be positive and negative.  If they live in the same city they are all around you but at least you can go home.  Traveling can be stressful and really hard if you are staying with family that you don't get along with.  If you do get along, holidays can be great because then your not seeing this as an obligation but as an opportunity to spend time with them.

What Are Some Good Coping Strategies?

There comes a point in the holiday season when you can't stand to hear one more Christmas song and are ready to deck someone's turtle dove, French hen and the perennial partridge himself.  

People who have trouble coping or maintaining the "Holiday Spirit" can handle this better by not having unrealistic expectations, by tuning out the idealistic version of Christmas, and by turning off the radio and not watching every TV Christmas special.  And you don't have to accept EVERY party invitation either.  Use common sense -- and make choices that are right for you.

How Do You Cope With Kids Who Want Everything For Christmas and Have No Sense of What Things Cost?

Parents need to tell their children to be realistic.  It is OK to say to your child that a certain toy is too expensive.  And even Santa Claus has limited funds and has to choose what to give because he has a very long list.  You can also tell your children that Mom and Dad and Santa Claus will try to choose the most suitable present for the child.  Children have to learn that their wish is not someone's command and to curb their desires for instant gratification.

What Can You Tell Someone Who Is Dreading the Holidays?

Most people dread the holidays because their life experience is so different from what is being hyped.  Trust your own instincts and don't try to be what you're not.  Keep up your normal routine and know that this day is what you choose it to be.

Think about your choices and what you are willing to tolerate.  Choose the attitude you want.  If you look for the worst, believe me, you'll find it.