Most of us are guilty . . . guilty as charged, when it comes to violating the ‘open mike’ law. What’s that you say? It’s when you are speaking to someone else saying something you shouldn’t be saying and it gets overheard by someone you didn’t want hearing it. And if you’re not guilty, well good for you!
One of the worst cases I’ve heard about, and there’s been plenty since this one occurred, was when CNN reporter Kyra Phillips unknowingly had a live wireless microphone with her when she went for a break into the CNN ladies room during a speech given by President George W. Bush in New Orleans.
She made positive comments about her husband and her brother, but those about her sister-in-law were not so flattering. In fact, they were downright indignant. And every word was heard by the audience – above the Bush speech.
“I’ve gotta be protective of [her brother],” she was heard saying as she washed her hands. “He’s married, three kids, but his wife is just a control freak!” Oops! I sure hope her sister-in-law is the forgiving type of control freak. Otherwise the upcoming holidays are going to be loads of fun! Why even her brother and some other family members might be a little ticked off.
I often coach my clients, especially those in leadership positions or who own their own businesses that they should conduct themselves in front of everyone, clients, prospects, employees, suppliers, etc., as though their lives were an ‘open mike’. I also recommend that they don’t do anything they wouldn’t want to see on the front page of the paper. Yet, every week, wherever I go, I see those same judgement mistakes being made.
I wrote another article regarding ‘Destructive Comments’ that asks you to think about whatever you are going to say or do next, and if it doesn’t help you, your company, your customers or the person or people you are talking about, then don’t say it or do it. Pretty simple stuff – but incredibly powerful.
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote in his book, “The Four Agreements” that if you model your life after these, it will be much more rewarding.
They are:
1. Always speak with integrity.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
Had Ms. Phillips behaved according to just the first one of these ‘agreements’, she never would have seen herself on the ‘front page’ of the paper, so to speak, regarding her rapier-like wit and commentary. And she wouldn’t have been ridiculed by late night talk show host David Letterman who offered his “Top Ten Kyra Phillips Excuses” regarding the incident. Even her employer, CNN, had to make up some story about it not being her mistake, but due to a “technical malfunction”, and offered an apology to their audience and President Bush.
They did not report an apology to Ms. Phillips’ brother or her sister-in-law.
So let’s recap. Here is the most destructive part of what Kyra Phillips said regarding her brother, “his wife is a control freak”. Six words that could have brought her career and family relationships crashing down around her.
Brian Howe is a professionally-trained executive and business coach, writer and speaker, who owns ThinkTank Coaching. He is also a Certified Mediator, and holds the highest human resource certification, Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR). He has worked with over 300 business owners and professionals, coaching and consulting with them on leadership development and other aspects related to people in business. He can be reached at (770) 922-6007 or via his website www.coachbrian.com
